Belly flopping into the pool of life ….
Welcome to my own personal little yacht of wayward thoughts, misbegotten lies and exaggerations, downright proof that the pudding of my mind has simmered to a fare thee well and it was high time for this old salt to strike his colors and knit bait bags for a change.
Some folks might expect a more traditional “Autumn of Life” etude from a college educated man, but maybe not from one who’s flown an airplane, a Ford, and a motorcycle upside down at one time or another, and who could calmly convince some poor shattered soul in an I-Love-Me jacket that he wasn’t married to the tree in his front yard and shouldn’t eat bricks. How sad, to be so limited in one’s expectations!
Any shithead with a forty year track record of self discipline and goal directed decision making can retire next to a golf course and pick up a nice squishy sedan to putz around Sanibel Island in before he drops dead from pickle-face syndrome. Problem is, if they had to sit down and tell a story, it might sound like a tech manual for a yo-yo and be about as interesting as a one note symphony played on a rubber band stretched between Mr. Rogers’ knees.
I, on the other hand, have been there and done that even though, or perhaps because, I was sternly admonished to NEVER go “THERE” and most certainly to NOT do “THAT”.
Having spent seven decades perfecting the Belly Flop into the Pool of Life with little concern for whether or not there was any water in it, I’ve met people from all walks of life…..doctors, psychiatrists, sheriff’s deputies, and lawyers among them, but the ones who taught me to love, laugh, and yell “Ta DAAH!” from the bottom of the pool while brushing pulverized concrete from my torso have been neither saints nor Hell’s Angels, though I dare say I’ve had dealings with a few of each.
I’ve had dinner with the Governor and eaten a cold baloney sandwich in a six by eight room. If life is a journey instead of a destination, I’d have to say mine has been one hell of a ride so far. Frankly, never having had a clear goal, I have no destination, which is fine with me.
But I’ve also met really interesting people who captured my imagination and my heart along the way who have made it all very real and very worth while. I thank them. They made me laugh at times when anyone with any sense would have screamed in terror or despair.
Take what you read here with a grain of salt. Actually, y’might want t’ use one o’ them salt blocks like Clive Meader sets out for his beef critters, but none of it’s an outright lie.
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